Alistair’s Hall story

Background

I moved to London in 2003. I had just turned eighteen and was going to spend the summer interning at a magazine before starting a journalism degree at the University of the Arts. I felt like I was living my dream. All I ever wanted was to move to London, become a writer, and be free.

I had spent my teenage years growing up in a small town in Wiltshire. For a gay kid, it wasn’t great. Homophobia was rife both in school and out of it. I loved fashion and found safety in expressing myself through clothes even if I was bullied for it. I literally had people wind down their windows and shout slurs at me.

I remained ambitious and optimistic though. Despite the homophobia within the landscape, I came out. I felt a sense of pride when it came to being gay. My family were also incredibly supportive. I was one of the lucky ones.

I still remember my first night in London. My mum dropped me off at my digs and I went straight into Soho to meet some friends. That sense of joy wouldn’t last long though. A few months in, a strange anxiety started to creep in. I felt overwhelmed by London and in particular the gay scene. I felt like I didn’t fit in. Later- in recovery- I learnt this sense of ‘other’ was so common amongst my fellows within the queer community.

In my early recovery, I started taking acting classes in the evenings to help keep me on the straight and narrow. This unlocked a childhood passion of mine.

Alistair Hall, Actor & Playwright

I started taking Class A drugs at the age of 19 and was immediately hooked. I started using cocaine and this quickly spiralled into using other drugs including MDMA, Ecstasy and Mephedrone They became everything to me. Drugs numbed my insecurities and made me feel warm inside. They were like an off-switch for me. I ran out of steam quite quickly when it came to my studies. I barely scraped by and although I did graduate and work professionally for a while- my heart wasn’t in it, and so I took more drugs.

My twenties were a surreal, unpredictable, and often painful time. I couldn’t hold down a job and my finances were a total mess. I dropped my moral code for drugs by stealing, lying and doing anything I could to get them. Then I started using alone on a regular basis. In hindsight, I shut the door on myself and fell deeper into an acute depression that hovered over me for years.

Not long after my 30^th birthday, I went to my first NA meeting and have been in recovery ever since. I have stayed clean through a mixture of twelve-step recovery, therapy, developing new hobbies, and building a responsible life for myself.

In my early recovery, I started taking acting classes in the evenings to help keep me on the straight and narrow. This unlocked a childhood passion of mine. I had adored acting as a kid and always performed in school plays and youth theatre groups. It was an unexpected joy when that visceral love for it returned. I really believe that acting saved me.

My business and support from Forward Enterprises Services

I graduated from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art at the end of 2019. A few months later, Covid hit. Pursuing a career in acting is tough enough let alone trying to do it against the backdrop of a global pandemic. It was stop and start for a while and I was struggling to get work. At RADA, I had been encouraged to create my own work, write my own plays, and champion myself.

I created a play called Declan– a solo show both written and performed by me. A leading fringe theatre venue in London offered to put the play on. It would be a week long-run and would give me the opportunity to present my work both as a writer and an actor. The costs involved however felt intangible. The financials of producing a fringe theatre show can be high and I needed help.

I put together a document to send to organisations asking for financial assistance and making a case for my project. I wrote to the Forward Trust who responded swiftly with a warm welcome and referred me initially to Simon Brooker and then referred to Stephen Anderson, an Enterprise Coach. Although Forward Enterprise Services had never supported a client within the performing arts sector, they found a way to help me shape my pitch and enabled me to see myself as a business- not just a broke artist trying to make my way.

I was successful in receiving a microgrant from Forward. This covered the bulk of the costs involved in putting on my play. Working with the Trust also gave me a vital set of skills. Stephen helped me find my way round excel spreadsheets and create a business plan.  I was taught how to put together a funding bid- a necessary tool for any artist creating their own work in any medium.  Overall, the experience made me feel like my work was worth supporting.

Plans for the future

Since working with Forward, the past twelve-months have been incredible. My play Declan– that Forward supported- went on to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and was winner of the Keep it Fringe Award. The play was also published.

I recently signed with a brilliant acting agent and spent four months performing in a touring production directed by one of my favourite directors. I’m lucky enough to be auditioning for TV, film, and of course-theatre. I’ve recently finished writing my second play too.

I’ve kept in touch with Forward Trust. Earlier this year, I was invited to speak at its National Reunion Day about the experiences I had with its Enterprise Services.

I feel very proud to be aligned with the Trust and its work helping people in recovery believe in themselves and pursue life, careers, and more.