Easter Appeal 2024

I’m Sophie and I’m sharing my story to show you the power of The Forward Trust. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you they saved my life. I’m so grateful to them. I didn’t hesitate to say yes when they asked me to share my story with you.

I hope you’ll feel inspired to make a gift to their Easter appeal. Together we’d love to raise £2,500 to be there for more people like me. Collectively, we can help others get the love and support I received and help them take their first steps on their journey into recovery and live a life free from addiction.

I remember my rock-bottom vividly.

Waking up at 3am having terrifying hallucinations, heart beating rapidly and shaking from the withdrawals. My unstoppable need to drink brought me to this state. Day after day, night after night. Repeating the same cycle.

I thought there was no way out. I thought I was dying. And, surprisingly, I realised I didn’t want to. Not for myself, but for my family. The thought of them finding me dead on the floor was unbearable. I called the ambulance. That was my turning point and the start of my recovery journey.

A faint glimpse of light at the end of the very dark tunnel…

I’d had various mental health struggles for over 20 years and alcohol took me to some dark places. After years of crippling anxiety. Alcohol had completely taken over my life. It had gone from my support and my anchor to my downward spiral. I’d lost my job. Shame would punch me in the gut. And I couldn’t stop this feeling of despair. All this led me to reach for the vodka. Day after day. I drank until I passed out. Just to make it stop.

Of course, I needed help but I didn’t think rehab was for someone like me.

I didn’t think it was possible for me. I didn’t think I deserved it. I’d brought this on myself – right? But that night, in the hospital, at rock bottom, I asked for help. Finding that help wasn’t as easy as it should have been. But when I learned I’d been offered a place at one of Forward’s addiction treatment centres, Clouds House, a wave of relief and hope washed over me. I finally glimpsed a faint light at the end of the very dark tunnel I had found myself in for so long.

Every single person I met at Clouds was expert and extremely kind. I immediately knew I was in a safe space.

My treatment was tailored to my needs. It was intensive and tough at times. There was no hiding at Clouds. But, the team of therapists, nurses, doctors and the amazing cooks, took me by their hands and guided me on those first arduous weeks of recovery.

The team are incredibly specialist. They never give in. They know that their treatment and care is central to taking those early steps into recovery. They see the complete picture and adapt to the needs of an individual. Without this, I know I wouldn’t have made it past the first week.

Restoring my mental health is an on-going process. However, the anxiety and deep depression that were conspiring to destroy me, lessened a little every day I was at Clouds.

I started to realise that my life was worth living.

Addiction was not my choice, and I was seriously ill. I was broken, and it was time to heal. With the help of The Forward Trust, I went from a total wreck to someone with hope and a future.

At the end of my treatment stay, we had a graduation. My roommate gave a lovely speech, and I clutched my shiny certificate with pride. As I reflected on my daily journals it was both horrifying and pleasing to look back on the earliest entries. I was proud to see how much progress I’d made from the total wreck I’d been when I first arrived. As I left, my overwhelming thought was Clouds is a beautiful and healing place.

As I write this, I am 9 months and 12 days sober. I haven’t relapsed.

2023’s New Year’s Eve was so different. I was in a beautiful house with a friend I’d made in Clouds. We had a short AA meeting at the start of the night, and I stuck to soft drinks. At midnight as the fireworks whizzed and banged in the crisp night sky I was fully present in the moment.
I entered the new year with hope. My physical health is better. Mentally I still battle anxiety and periods of depression, but it is more manageable now. Forwards Treatment provided me with tools to cope and because of this, I have found employment again.

I damaged so many relationships during the worst of my drinking. I isolated myself away from the world. Fortunately, I have rebuilt many of these and made new ones too. I’m enjoying being a friend, daughter, sister, auntie, godmother, and cat mum!

I’m so grateful to you and everyone at The Forward Trust.

My bursary meant I got help that I never thought I’d be lucky enough to receive. The intensive support and after-care has meant so much to me. The level of ongoing support from Forward and the peer network means you don’t feel alone.

Without the kindness and follow up care from the incredible staff at The Forward Trust, I have no doubt I would still be suffering greatly and may not even be alive. I know Forward can only provide options like bursaries to people like me, with the generosity of supporters like you. Thank you so much for making my recovery possible – you really are doing amazing things!

Sharing my story is my way of thanking The Forward Trust. I hope you will choose to make a gift to this invaluable appeal.
It’s not just people who have suffered with addiction that you are helping. For every person who has struggles with addiction, there is an unmeasurable number of others that are impacted.

My family were offered support from Forward to help understand addiction and what I was going through. My mum and dad attended a session. It helped them understand that I couldn’t ‘just stop’ and that it was a chronic condition that needs daily management.

We are all now cautiously optimistic or the future, but know I can’t become complacent. It is a daily challenge, but it truly does get a little easier with every day, week and month that passes. Your donation improves the lives of so many people.

Thank you so much to all of you! With much love and appreciation, Sophie

• P.S. My bursary has worked out at about £15 per day for every day I’ve been sober so far. Yet the impact is priceless – it has saved my life.
• Whether you can give £5, £50 or £500 it would mean the world to help The Forward Trust help others going through a tough time with addiction. Thank you.

*Names changed to protect identity*